Everyone loves Easter, right? I have to confess I’ve always been a bit meh about the whole thing. While growing up I got to watch my friends and brother chow down on copious chocolate eggs, my eyes turning green with envy as I was given a bar of carob chocolate. Yum (read this word with the sarcasm intended). I mean it’s okay – if you like eating food that tastes like cardboard with a side of mud – which I am sure has as much nutrition. Don’t talk to me about Easter bonnets either. I am sure they didn’t exist when I was in school. I never made one anyway. Well, I am now an adult and the world has changed. Lindt now do the most delicious dark chocolate bunny, which has not so much as sniffed at a glass of milk never mind gulped it down with my death in mind like the sadistic bunnies of my dooms of long ago.
As I mentioned I am an adult now and grown up enough not to indulge in the sweet temptation that is milk chocolate. I do have a munchkin of my own though. He is 4 and adores chocolate and eats it like his life depends on it. A good thing too as it is the only way to toilet train the scamp. As Easter rolls around the prospect of Easter bunnies and, their? eggs descending on our household like a demonic horde of brightly coloured foil is getting ever closer.
I also went through the annual hell of the Easter bonnet competition last week. Apparently the way to win the Easter bonnets shenanigans is to create the hat out of paper, cardboard or papier mache and let the little sprogs let loose with paint, glue, feathers, chicks, bows and glue. That is what we are supposed to do. I went to the pound shop and bought a plain ready-made Easter bonnet and let him loose with the glue and other paraphernalia that was sold there. Next year I will know better! Apparently the other key thing is to actually remember the darn thing on the day of the competition!
Maybe I should go all psycho mum and bribe the judges with chocolate? That could be the start of an interesting story line. How far could a competitive mum go? Bribery and corruption in your local primary/elementary school. I see possibilities… Just to be clear though, I wouldn’t/couldn’t do that myself. It is impossible for me to do anything illegal or dishonest. It is incredibly annoying and a severe character flaw of mine. World domination would be mine if I could just get past those pesky morals stopping me from doing anything remotely interesting. Still that is why I write, I can’t do anything immoral but that doesn’t stop the characters I make up!
Midweek into the first half of the Easter holidays (vacation to my American friends) and I’m enjoying a morning off. Oh yes, holiday club is my saviour. While my son enjoys sun, crafts, friends and play, I get to stay inside like the demented vampire wannabe that I am. My husband is sure that I can burn in the reflected light of the moon. While my son gets ‘home’ cooked meals, I get leftovers. As I am writing this, I am tucking into one of the afore mentioned chocolate bunnies. This one is gold wrapped with a bell held on by dark brown elastic. Apart from the dreaded Easter bonnets, maybe Easter isn’t that bad after all.
What do you think? Please comment.
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