Ever wondered what a movie would have been like with a different choice of actor? We love books here at Myrddin Publishing but sometimes we are drawn to the glitzy, sparkly lights of the cinema. Everyone loves a good movie and we are no different. Sometimes we like to think about how we would have written the story or who would we choose to star in a movie about our books. It was only a matter of time before one of us put a wish list of unlikely actors for movie remakes!
Here are six suggestions that may make your toes curl or make you think twice.
1. Pride and Prejudice
Mr Darcy played by Arnold Schwarzeneggar
Arnold has played romantic leads in the past, but the Terminator star might give a new dimension to the character. Who could forget Kindergarten Cop or True Lies?
“You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.” (Elizabeth Bennett) ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
If Arnie had been playing Mr. Darcy, would Elizabeth Bennett have said that? Of all the movie remakes in this list, I would love to see this actually happen!
2. Bridget Jones Diary
Bridget Jones Diary played by Sigourney Weaver
Bridget Jones was famously played by Renée Zellweger but the drippy lead could do with some Sigourney Weaver ‘take no prisoners’ approach. Her style could make the ending all the more worth it and although she wouldn’t need Colin Firth, the fight scene would be worth watching in and of itself.
3. The Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal Lector played by Eddie Izzard
Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs and Mads Mikkelsen in Hannibal have tough boots to fill but Eddie Izzard could be an awesome choice for a film remake. You will only need to check him out as the chilling Wolf in Powers to see why. He started out his media career as a stand up comedian but soon branched out into TV and film. The guy has run over 40 marathons and is multilingual which shows a dedication seldom seen in this world.
4. The Shining
Jack Torrance played by Rowan Atkinson
The actor who played the lovable Mr Bean has a wide repertoire of acting skills and should surely bear another look for this iconic character. Nobody could surpass the performance of the original but if there was to be a remake maybe they could take another gander at the Johnny English star. After all, he’s already used to being called Johnny. Is it such a stretch to imagine him, axe in hand, shouting “Here’s Johnny?”
5. The Godfather Series
The Godfather played by Eddie Murphy
You may be thinking that the actor playing the Godfather needs to be American-Italian, right? But bear with me. Eddie Murphy could give a new angle to the movie. Gone are the days when he made movies like The Golden Child and Beverly Hills Cop but given a really juicy role, he could get his mojo back. He’s a wise guy but this film is sooo serious maybe it could do with a bit of eccentricity.
6. The Bourne Series
Jason Bourne played by David Schwimmer
David Schwimmer is best known for his role in Friends but maybe it is time for him to expand his acting genius. No one would suspect him capable of such physical feats which makes him ideally placed to be a spy. His job as a dinosaur bones curator would be the perfect cover. To be honest it was a toss up between the Da Vinci Code and the Bourne Series for this guy for me.
7. Fight Club
Tyler Durden played by Zach Galifianakis
Best know for the Hangout movies, a Fight Club remake committee would not be doing their job if they did not at least consider Mr. Galifianakis in the lead role.Just like Edward Norton, the unsuspecting viewer, (if there is anyone left in the world who hasn’t read the book or seen the movie), would never guess the narrator and Tyler are one and the same. The role would stretch Zach but he could do it. Movie remakes seem a dime a dozen lately but this could be overdue for one.
8. Carrie
Carrie White played by Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie is known for playing strong characters. This would be a departure but would be a giant step for women. Any character Angelina would play wouldn’t stand for what Carrie does. It is probabl;y wish fulfillment but I for one would like to see her go into the that school and beat the pulp out of her tormentors.
Has anyone else noticed that the actors playing the ‘kids’ at the school look like they are in their thirties, possibly late thirties? Angelina Jolie looks way better and is (probably) a lot fitter than the actors portrayed in the original film. It would be a cross between a Buffy and Willow. That’s a movie I would really love to watch. I admit, there have been a few Carrie movie remakes, surely one more couldn’t hurt.
9. The Notebook
Noah Calhoun played by Jean Claude Van Damme
My husband introduced number 9 in this movie remakes list to me when we first met. I loved The Notebook when I first saw it but felt that Noah should really grow some back bone. I hated how she used the poor bloke and didn’t seem to appreciate him as much as she should have. Enter Jean Claude Van Damme. Instead of watching a drippy hero mope from one end of the movie to the other, he would grow some and find someone else to appreciate him for who he is.
10. X-Men 》
Professor X played by Vinnie Jones
I’ve been a fan of the X-Men films since they started. I’ve always loved superheroes. Professor X holds a special place in my heart as he was played by the Captain of the Enterprise. If a remake were on the cards then who better to replace him than Vinnie Jones? Hard man, ex-footballer turned actor he would deliver his lines with a glare. His lack of accent range would be no problem here as Professor X has a British accent anyway if a little more refined. He’s getting a little long in the tooth, (I’m going to so regret that statement in a few years), so the wheelchair is perfect.
I hope you enjoyed this foray into dream movie remakes. Which movies would you like to see remade and which unlikely actors would you choose to play the leads?
Ceri Clark is an author with Myrddin Publishing who writes non-fiction technology guides as well as children’s fiction. You can find out more about her and her books on this site or at her personal sites Cericlark.com and MinkieMonster.com.